Песенки Фиби

Smelly Cat
Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault.
They won’t take you to the vet.
You’re obviously not their favourite pet.
You may not be a bed of roses,
And you’re no friend to those with noses.
Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault.

I’m In The Shower
I’m in the shower and I’m writing a song
Stop me if you’ve heard it.
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.
(pause, while Phoebe plays guitar)
Lather, rinse, repeat. Lather, rinse, repeat. Lather, rinse, repeat,
As needed!!!

Little Fetus
Are you in there little fetus?
In nine months will you come greet us?
I will buy you some Adidas

Jingle bitch
Okay. ‘Jingle bitch screwed me over!
Go to hell jingle whore!
Go to hell Go to hell.
Go to hell-hell-hell.’
That’s all I have so far.

They’re tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch,
and soon they’ll grow up and resent you so much.
Now they’re yelling at you and you don’t know why,
you cry and you cry and you cry.
And you cry and you cry and you cry…

Parading Goats
Parading goats are parading,
Parading down the street.
Parading goats are parading,
Leaving little treats.

They found their bodies
They found their bodies the very next day,
they found their bodies the very next…
la, la, la, la.

My Coma Guy
You don’t have to be awake to be my man
As long as you have brain waves
I’ll be there to hold your hand.
Though we just met the other day
There’s something I have go to say…
Thank you

Crazy Underwear
Crazy underwear creeping up my butt
Crazy underwear always in a rut
Crazy underwear…

Cremated Mother
My mother’s ashes
Even her eyelashes
Are resting in a little yellow jar,
And sometimes when it’s breezy…

But Don’t
There’ll be times when you get older,
And you’ll want to sleep with people,
Just to make them like you
Because that’s another thing that you don’t wanna do…..

The Barnyard Animal Song
Oh the cow in the meadow goes moo.
Oh the cow in the meadow goes moo.
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up,
And that’s how we get hamburgers.

The Bisexual Song
Sometimes men love women.
And sometimes men love men.
Then there are bisexuals, though some just say they’re kidding themselves

What Happened To Grandma?
Now grandma’s a person who everyone likes,
She bought you a train and a bright shiny bike.
But lately she hasn’t been coming to dinner and last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.
Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and someday you will too

Little Black Curly Hair
I found you in my bed,
How’d you wind up there?
It’s still a mystery,
Little black curly hair.
Little black, little black, little black, little black… little black curly hair.

Two of Them Kissed Last Night
There was a girl, we’ll call her Betty,
And a guy, let’s call him Neil.
Now I can’t stress this point too strongly, this story isn’t real.
Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside?
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? or will it be the one who we’ll call L-Lulie?
He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up he must decide!

Two Heart Attacks
It only takes two heart attacks
to finally make you see
one of them won’t do it
but the second will set you free
Tell all your hate and anger
it’s time to say good bye
and that is just what I will do
as soon as those bastards I work for die

Holiday Song
Went to the store, sat on Santa’s lap
Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap
Said all you need is to write them a song
Now you haven’t heard it yet so don’t try to sing along
No don’t sing along
Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah
Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowwwwwy
And Rachel and Chandler, (mumbles something) handler!

New York City Has No Power
New York City has no power,
And the milk is getting sour.
But to me this is not scary,
Cause I stay away from dairy

Suicide and a Snowman
I made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitchin’.
How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen?

Sticky Shoes
My sticky shoe
My sticky, sticky shoe
Why you stick on me, ba-a-bay?

Terry’s a jerk
Terry’s a jerk,
and he won’t let me work,
and I hate Central Perk!
You’re all invited to bite me!

Tony Tarzan
Little Tony Tarzan
Swinging on an nose hair
Swinging with the greatest of ease…

First Time I Met Chandler
First time I met chandler
I thought he was gay
but here I am singing
on his wedding daaaay

The 66 Colors of my Bedroom
…fuschia and mauve
Those are the 66 colors of my bedroom

A Few of My Favorite Things
Raindrops on roses
and rabbits and kittens
Bluebells and sleighbells
and something with mittens
la la la la la la something with string….